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Last Update: January 21, 2002 |
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Five brokers conspired against rand - report Five stockbrokers, who allegedly conspired to push the South African currency weaker, are likely to be called before the Myburgh Commission of Inquiry into the rand's woes, the City Press reported on Sunday. The newspaper said the stockbrokers - two former Zimbabweans, a New Zealander, a Briton and a South African - were named in a leaked confidential document that had apparently been passed onto treasury officials. Two of the individuals operated from a reputable commercial bank in Johannesburg, while the others worked from New York and London. It said that President Thabo Mbeki, who commissioned the inquiry to be led by former judge John Myburgh earlier this month, had also received information on the five stockbrokers. The president's spokesperson, Bheki Khumalo, said that any information the government received would be made available to the commission, but he did not know of the allegations against the five brokers. The City Press reported that according to the document the individuals harboured "racist and anti-African" sentiments, and that their actions were driven by political motives. It was understood that they manipulated the rand's weakness by working with brokers and dealers from several banks and other financial institutions, it said. Mbeki announced early in January that Myburgh - the former president of the Labour Appeals Court - would head an inquiry into the currency's sharp fall in 2001, and on Tuesday finalised its terms of reference. This followed claims by South African Chamber of Business chief executive Kevin Wakeford that institutions and individuals had enriched themselves at the currency's expense, evidence of which he handed to the presidency. The commission will probe, among other things, whether between January 1 and December 31 last year any person or institution acted illegally or unethically and contributed to the rand's rapid depreciation relative to other currencies. Myburgh would be joined by Advocate Kgomotso Moroka and Development Bank of Southern Africa CEO Mantla Gantsho in probing the rand's fall. They are expected to submit to Mbeki an interim report by April 30. Thanks to IOL.co.za [ Top ]  Kytie Koekblik ColumnKytie Koekblik Washington D.C. - Vir Rokkie Die gelukkigste wat ek in my hele lewe was, die posisie waarin ek sou kon doodgaan, was toe ek in my huis in Kuilsrivier in die oggend kon wakker word met ‘n hondjie in elke arm. Ek sou in die oggend le en dink: Hoe kan ek ongelukkig wees met twee sulke slapende goedjies vir wie ek eindeloos lief is in my arms. My twee pragtige babatjies, my miniatuur poedels – ek het altyd daarop aangedring dat hulle eintlik terriers is want hulle lyk nie soos poedels nie. 
Ons het soms vir hulle rugbytruie aangetrek, Kriekie was WP en Rokkie was Transvaal.
Ek dink ek gaan hierdie week deur die diepste en hartseertse rouste ervaring wat enige mense wat miljoene myle ver van sy huis en geliefdes en wortels is kan deurgaan. My ma bel en se, my hondjie is besig om dood te gaan. Rocky was oorspronklik Cobus, my boetie se hond. Cobus het hom Rocky genoem – natuurlik was dit cool vir 9 jarige seuntjies om hulle honde na Rocky en Rambo te vernoem. Die papperige dingetjie met sy hardkoppigheid en sy parmantige swaai van sy agterent en sy whoosy ogies het vir hom ‘n plek in my hart ingewoel saam met sy tweelingboetie Kriekie. Ons het almal sommer vir Rocky begin Rokkie noem. April 1991 toe ek in standerd ses was, het ons die tweetjie brakkies gekoop. My oupa, wat juis in 1991 dood is, het vir ons een hondjie gekoop en my ma en pa het vir die ander een betaal. Daai heel eerste nag in April 1991 het ek dwarsdeur die nag wakker gebly en op die ou end van die dag het ek my kussing op die vloer neergesit en op die vloer geslaap om die twee tjankende babatjies sonder hulle mamma te troos. Toe word ek ‘n hondema, daardie nag. Die volgende oggend, ‘n Sondag-oggend, was hulle "verstop." Dit was soos om vir die eerste keer ‘n doek om te ruil en ek het ‘n deeglike initiasie gehad. Van altyd af se ek: My hondjies is soos mense met hare. Ek is seker die slegste honde-ma wat daar is op die planeet. Ek kon nooit die twee dissiplineer nie want ek wou net huil as ons met hulle raas en hulle sterte gaan hang of hulle gaan wegkruip in ‘n hoekie. As my ma met hulle geraas het, het hulle die goetertjies in my kamer kom wegkruip of na my toe gehardloop. My ma se ook ek het skoothonde gebroei, want die ou tweetjies kom vra altyd om opgetel te word, en dan sit ek met hulle voor die tv/op die bank/op die bed en broei. Op hoerskool het Rokkie altyd middae by my in die kamer op die bed gele terwyl sy boetie ‘n wafferse waghond in die woonkamer voor die venster was. Rokkie het so ‘n skrilblaffie en Kriekie het ‘n donker blaf; Rokkie is die sosiale hondjie en Kriekie is die waghond wat ‘n rotweiler sal aanval net om te bewys wat ‘n goeie waghond hy is. ‘n Mens kan nie help om te glimlag as jy in die middag by die huis kom en die ou tweetjies is so opgewonde nie – vir elf jaar van ons lewens kom hulle ons elke liewe dag met soveel opgewondenheid hallo se – soms meer as vyf keer per dag as ons inkom en uitgaan – spring hulle op en af en dis net sterte en tjankies en opgewonde blaffies en my ma wat se "Waar’s my hondjies, hallo my babakies" en ek wat roep, pollinkie, kriekel, ma se babas, hallo my goedjies. Ek erken sonder om eers skaam te kry, ek was soos een van daai ma’s wat altyd met hulle kinders in babataal praat. Ek kon nie vir goedjies ‘n enkele triek leer nie, my boetie en ma en pa het. Maar ek het met hulle wegkruipertjie gespeel in ons groot huis. En ek het daai twee lief soos mense. Ek het dwarsdeur my universiteitsjare van hulle gedroom, soms sou ek wakker word en droom die goedjies is by my in die bed of langs my – en daai leegte as ek besef hulle is nie by my nie. Ek het honderde kere voor die groot vensters gaan sit, met ‘n hond op elke been, en na buite gekyk, dit was eindelose speletjie "Wat sien my hondjies" en dan begin die goetertjies se ore te spits. As ek gaan bad sit hulle voor die deur, en dan maak ek oop en sit ‘n kombers neer vir die goedjies by my in die badkamer. As hulle wil uit, klim ek uit en maak die deur oop. Een van die mees belaglikste redes waarom ek altyd laat was, was omdat elke liewe keer wat ek vir die honde moes tata se, was traumaties. Soms het ek letterlik net eenvoudig nie uit die huis uit gegaan tydens vakansies nie oor daai klein goetertjies. Kom ek vertel van Rokkie. Die siek hondjie. Sy tandjies het vrot geword in sy mond van oudgeit. Hy word op die 6de Februarie 11 – soos my pa se, dis baie oud in mense jare. Rokkie het laas Saterdag begin opgooi en nog nie weer opgehou nie. Hy het ook nog niks geeet nie. Ons het gedink hy behoort teen vandag beter te wees, alhoewel hy baie siek was, maar vandag het die veearts bloedtoetse gedoen. Hy dink my liefste hondjie se orgaantjies is aangetas. Die toetse se uitslag kom more. As dit wel so is, moet die dingetjie uitgesit word. Ek wil nie daaraan dink nie. Een jaar het ons bure ons gevra of ons ons outjie sou kon leen vir hulle meisietjie wat op hitte was. Die keuse het op Rokkie geval – hy was immers die sosiale hond en minder huis vas. Ek het hom daardie aand gaan haal by die bure se huis en sy oe was wild en weg toe ek hom van sy maatjie af wegneem. Dit was asof hy ons nie herken nie. Hy het teen die muur gaan staan en gehuil en ek het gehuil want ek kon nie vir Rokkie in sy ogies herken nie. Ek het langs hom by die muur gestaan en hom getroos, en by hom gebly totdat sy ogies weer hulle lewe terug gekry het. Rokkie en ek het gebond en onafskeidbaar geword na daardie mating-ervaring van hom. Toe ek begin planne maak om VSA toe te kom, het ek baie nagte gehuil oor die hondjies. As ek bietjie meer sekuriteit en geld gehad het, het ek vir ou Rokkie saamgebring. Ek het altyd gese ek sal nie vir Kriekie uit sy huis uit kan vat nie, want hy is te huis-en omgewingsvas. Maar Pollie, Rokkie, Pollingkie, Krokkeltjie, Krokkie, Pokkie, Ma’se woefie, Ma se babatjie, Skotteltjie, Skottel - ek sou Skottel VSA toe kon bring as ek nie gedink het hy is te oud vir die vliegtuig nie. Dit sou vir hom te traumaties wees en ek sou nooit uit selfsugtige liefde vir Rokkie en Kriekie van mekaar en van hulle huis af wegvat nie. In Junie 2000, twee weke voor ek sou vlieg, het ek een oggend wakker geword en gevoel hoe Pollie’tjie se lyfie agter my begin ruk. Ek het gedink die babatjie wil opgooi en hom uit die bed uitgetel – eerder kots op die mat as op my – maar toe dop hy om en sy pootjies begin te ruk. Ek het hom met een scoop opgetel en kombuis toe gehardloop, ek wou histeries raak maar ek het geweet ek moet kalm bly en hom by die veearts uit kry. Toe ek hom op die kombuis vloer neersit toe dop hy weer om en die skuim kom by sy mond uit. "My hondjie gaan dood" het my ma uitgekry. Ek het gebel, en ‘n skietgebed opgese. Ek het die stywe dingetjie opgetel en toegemaak in sy kombers, sy hele lyfie was soos ‘n dooie stywe diertjie, ek was stomgeskok. Ons het al drie kilometer gejaag toe hy weer normaal begin asemhaal en sy pootjies weer warm en slap word. Hy het sy koppie opgelig, die ogies verdwaas vir ‘n oomblik, voordat hy wankelrig regop gesit het. My hondjie het bly leef. Ek was heeldag in skok. Ek het letterlik die hele dag gehuil. Dit was sy eerste epileptiese aanval, en daarna moes die dingetjie op medikasie gaan, so ‘n groot wit pil wat hom vreeslik moody en gedisorienteerd laat raak het. In Mei 2001, toe ek van die VSA af vir die eerste keer SA toe gaan, is ek vir die eerste keer ook na ons nuwe huis toe in Bloubergstrand. Die townhouse wat my ma’le spesiaal gekoop het omdat dit vir die diertjies ‘n klein tuin gehad het en ‘n klein toegeboude binnehof waar hulle kon bly in die dag as niemand by die huis was nie. Die hondjies het my soos skadus agtervolg. Hulle het gehuil toe ek by die huis kom. My hart was aan stukke en die heel ergste was toe ek na twee weke weer moes tata se. In daardie twee weke het ek die tweetjies afgeneem met my nuwe videokamera en soveel fotos van die goedjies geneem dat my pa gejoke het, "sy stel meer belang in die honde as in ons." Ek het vir die brakkies honde-jerky saamgebring wat ek by die pet-supermark in Amerika gekoop het. Elke keer as iemand ‘n tas uithaal – ouma is terug Transvaal toe en broer is na elke naweek terug varsity toe – het die brakkies begin panic en bo-op die tasse gaan le en gedink hulle ounooi is ook oppad. Die laaste dag het ek die hondjies besig gehou en my pa het die tasse in die kar gaan laai. Ons wou nie he die hondjies moes onsteld raak nie. Rokkie het oombliklik geweet toe ek hom tata se, en na sy buite-hok gestap, stert wat hang en in die hok gaan sit. Daar moes ek vir die tweetjies goodbye se. Die slag was ek bang. Dis daai gedagte wat jy jouself nie eers wil toelaat vir ‘n oomblik om te dink nie: Dalk is dit die laaste keer dat ek my hondjies sien. En nou vandag skryf ek en my hele bors ruk en dit voel asof my hart in stukke geskeur word, elke keer as ek aan daardie hondjie dink wat dalk more nie meer daar gaan wees nie voel dit vir my asof my realiteit nooi weer dieselfde gaan wees nie. Asof ek deur Rokkie en Kriekie geleer het om lief te he – jou familie het jy mos lief, maar vir diere raak jy lief. Jy leer hulle persoonlikhede en hulle nuanses ken, wanneer hulle hartseer is, of nie lekker voel nie of depressed is of wanneer Rokkie homself hardegat hou. Ek kan my selfs verbeel hoe dit voel as die goedjies my lek: Rokkie se vinnige entoesiastiese lekke en jy moet hom net keer of jy word dwarsdeur die mond en neus gelek. Krieke se skamerige warm tong wat jou net soms lek as hy wil dankie se. Ons is altyd geleer, sies moenie dat dit honde jou lek nie, en nou is dit die een ding wat ek onthou, hoe dit voel. So wat skryf ‘n mens as jy nie wil ophou skryf oor die een dingetjie wat jou meer gelukkig maak in die wereld nie. Rokkie het my nog nooit ongelukkig gemaak nie, ek het net van altyd af gepyn omdat ek hom en sy klein boetie so so so so lief het. My ou babatjies. Nou moet ek myself begin voorberei vir ‘n wereld sonder Rokkie. Vir ‘n huis sonder Rokkie. Vir alleen-Kriekie. Ek huil oor my ma wat hom medisyne met ‘n spuitjie moet voer terwyl sy self huil en opgooi oor ons babatjie so siek is en oor die 16 tande wat die veearts getrek het in die hoop om my hondjie gesond te maak. EK huil oor daai klein dun lyfie, ek kan sy ribbetjies voel onder my hand, sy hele lyfie so breed soos my palm. EK kan nog sy hartjie hoor klop, hoeveel dae sou ek nie sit en net na sy hartjie en sy vinnige asemhaling luister nie. Of ek sou aan sy neusie voel, daai swart neusie wat later sy swart begin verloor het soos hy ouer geword het. Ek kon nie eers vir Rokkie verduidelik wat hulle mamma in Amerika doen nie. 18 Februarie Rocky is dood. Hy le nou in ‘n diep graffie langs ons nuwe townhouse op Bloubergstrand, met ‘n uitsig op die Berg. Ons het vanoggend ‘n deel van Ilda se hart begrawe saam met my liefste babahondjie. Ek weet nie hoekom ek so besonder geheg geraak het aan die ou babatjie nie, my hart is heeltemal aan flarde. Ek kan nie ophou huil nie en ek voel soos ‘n groot bybie; ek is bang my baas gaan my fire en my boyfriend gaan my afse omdat ek ‘so ‘n crybaby is. Vanoggend se ek vir my ma ek wil nooit weer ‘n ander hond he nie. My 21 jarige boetie het ook gehuil; hy se ook hy wil nooit weer ‘n hond he nie. My ma se die hondjie het vir ons geleer hoe om lief te raak en liefde te gee en om verantwoordelik te wees vir ‘n lewendige dingetjie. Sy se ons moet ons kinders ook die geleentheid en voorreg gee om dieselfde ervaring te he. Vanoggend se die Big Cheese vir my hy dink ek was extraordinarily attached aan die hondjies en dat dit ongewoon is. "Its not a bad thing." se die Big Cheese. Elke keer as ek daaraan dink dat ek vir Skotteltjie laas in Junie 2001 gesien het, wil ek van vooraf in stukke breek. Ek huil vir my hondjie, ek sal enigiets gee om nog een keertjie die babahond te sien, om nog een keertjie aan sy dun ribbekas te raak, na sy vlak asemhaling te luister met my kop liggies op sy lyfie; om ou Pappies (hy was so ‘n pap, sagte hondjie wat jy soos ‘n lappop kon optel en net soos ‘n baba kon vashou op sy ruggie, met sy kop agteroor op jou arm terwyl jy sy magie krap.) op my neer te sit dat hy aan die slaap raak op my borskas, ‘n sagter, warm klein bondeltjie lewe met die sagste ogies en ‘n stubborn, stoute, lewendige persoonlikheid. Ek huil vir my familie wat aan die lee hondebed gewoond moet raak; ek huil vir Kriekie wat sonder sy boetie’tjie moet aanpas, ek huil omdat my ma’le alleen met Kriekie sal gaan stap; ek huil omdat my ma vir ses dae moes kots skoonmaak en my babatjie medisyne met ‘n spuitjie moes voer; omdat sy met haar hand op sy borsie moes slaap om seker te maak hy leef. Ek huil omdat ek hier is en omdat almal vir wie ek lief is in Suid-Afrika is. Omdat hulle alleen deur hulle moet gaan en ek alleen deur my hartseer. Wie weet, ek sou dalk vandag ‘n huisie gehad het in Observatory waar ek saam met die hondjies sou gebly het as ek nie VSA toe gekom het nie. Nou stap ek deur die strate van Bethesda en Washington en soms bars ek in trane uit en kan nie ophou snik nie en ek dink hoe stupid ek moet lyk as iemand sou vra, is something wrong, en ek ruk hartverskeurend en se, my dog died. As jy nie ‘n hond het nie, of gehad het nie, of verloor het nie, (en ek praat nie van ‘n hond wat nou maar net jou huis oppas en iewers op die rante van jou huis en tuin rondle nie) dan is dit seker moeilik om te verstaan. My baas se, "shame man," en my boyfriend se "I can’t really relate baby." I can’t really relate to reality either. My wereld het verander. Wat vir my joy gebring het, bring nou net hartseer. In elk geval, wat se ‘n mens vandag, 18 Januarie, net ‘n paar daggies voor my Pollie-hond se verjaardag op die 6de Februarie. Ek wil dit nie aanvaar nie. Maar wat kan ‘n mens se of doen? I’ve loved and lost of wat? Daar is ‘n groot lee plek in my hart wat pyn. My Rokkie-hond is dood. Kytie K. Kytie Koekblik would like you to respond to her tongue-in-cheek running commentary on suburban life in America in this editorial. Fresh off the boat, she is ready to explore and experiment with American bath plugs and to drive on the other side of the road. You can contact her here. © RSA-Overseas & Matheson Communications [ Top ] ANC questions right of foreigners to own land The ownership of land in South Africa by foreigners should come under countrywide debate, the African National Congress said on Monday. ANC spokesperson Smuts Ngonyama told reporters in Johannesburg that South African inhabitants were in "dire need of land", and this could be addressed by halting the foreign ownership of land. "Must we say no to foreigners or if we make land available to them, will there be certain conditions... This must all be debated," he said. 'We hope at some point the penny will drop' Smuts was addressing reporters on the outcome of the ANC National Executive Committee (NEC) lekgotla (meeting) which took place from Thursday to Sunday. ANC secretary-general Kgalema Motlanthe said land was a natural resource and if the rand continued to depreciate South Africa did not want to be in a position where the "jewels of land" were owned by foreigners. "We must guard against this... even if we promote tourism we could find that foreigners are the main beneficiaries," he said. Discussing decisions taken at the lekgotla on South Africa's economy, Ngonyama said the ideas of all stakeholders had to be taken into consideration to establish programmes that would aid economic growth. He said ANC branches would also be asked to monitor food prices that could soar due to the currency's drop. "Noting the potential impact of the depreciation of the rand on food prices, (we) call on all actors in the food sector to act with responsibility and restraint," Ngonyama said. A partnership was needed between producers and consumers to make sure the needs of all were met. On the international front, Motlanthe said the ANC was in constant, dynamic talks with Zimbabwe's ruling Zanu-PF party and opposition party, the Movement for Democratic Change (MDC). Zimbabwe, which is in a state of political and economic turmoil, plans to hold presidential elections in March. He said the Zanu-PF leadership had committed itself in discussions with the ANC to general elections that "would not lend themselves to question". Motlanthe called on the MDC and Zanu-PF leadership to hold discussions, saying this would help ease tensions. He said another reason the two should communicate was that there was a strong possibility that the elections would be closely contested. Leaders of the MDC and Zanu-PF were at the moment engaging through a third party and this was not helping matters, Motlanthe said. The ANC would not contemplate any form of action, such as sanctions, against Zimbabwe, besides discussions with Zanu-PF to bring back stability. "Our discussions (with them) are open. We (have) made them aware that if they don't approach the elections well, they may actually create space for the undermining of sovereignty and the little stability that remains there," the secretary-general said. "We hope at some point the penny will drop... (where) the time arrives where one asks am I the only one who has the wisdom, can all the others be wrong," Motlanthe said referring to Zimbabwe President Robert Mugabe's reign. The NEC called on the Zimbabwe Defence Force to remain impartial during the elections and to respect the outcome of the vote. Earlier, Zimbabwean generals said they would not back a president who was not from the country's liberation struggle. Ngonyama said the ANC would continue efforts to create peace and stability on the continent. The NEC also expressed solidarity and support for the people of Goma in the Democratic Republic of the Congo following volcanic eruptions in the area. On "tensions" in the tripartite alliance comprising the ANC, Congress of SA Trade Unions and the SA Communist Party, Ngonyama said ongoing bilaterals would help strengthen the foundation of the group, restore trust and address areas of policy difference. The ANC will hold regional general meetings countrywide on February 16 and 17 and February 23 and 24 where the party's programme of action for the year will be explained. The party's 51st national conference will be held in the Western Cape from December 11 to 16. Thanks to IOL.co.za [ Top ] Crime, corruption crippling business - survey South African opinion-formers in business, politics and trade unions have identified crime and corruption as the biggest obstacles to doing business in the country. This is according to a survey by the Centre for International and Comparative Politics at the University of Stellenbosch, released on Sunday. Professor Hennie Kotze said respondents ranked crime, corruption and HIV and Aids as the main obstacles to business, followed by education levels and financing. Respondents also felt that there had been significant capacity losses in important state agencies such as the police, courts and the civil service. The survey gauged sentiments of South African leaders regarding democratic practices, as well as critical economic, political and social policy issues facing the country. It included the opinions of MPs, senior government officials, journalists, business leaders, trade union leaders, non-governmental organisation representatives, as well as church and agricultural leaders. The survey found that respondents largely agreed that corruption was on the increase. "Even African National Congress supporters, as measured in terms of a corruption index, were of the opinion that there was a decrease in the performance of the government," said Kotze. He added that low levels of confidence in key institutions - such as the civil service, police and the legal system - were a cause for concern. An index measuring confidence in the three institutions indicated that only 34 percent of ANC respondents and 20 percent of Democratic Alliance respondents had confidence in them. Thanks to IOL.co.za [ Top ]  Nel's KitchenRagel Nel Ragel Nel Washington D.C. - I am a medical experiment. No, no… you silly things you… I have NOT been cloned. Come to think of it though, being cloned may not be such a bad idea. I mean, think of the possibilities: Sending the clone to work when you’re simply not in the mood (that way the clone can stay and work loads of overtime so that you can get that fabulous promotion), or sending the clone to perform tedious tasks such as grocery shopping or jury duty. And, by having a clone of yourself, you’ll always have an alibi. I would also have my clone write this column on occasion and then blame all the bad ones on her. But, back to the harsh, cloneless reality… Perhaps it would be more accurate to call what I’m going through a dental experiment. Once again, in order to bring you excellence in journalism (and once again, please don’t find that so openly amusing!), I’ve offered myself up for a dental study just so that I can tell you, dear readers, what it is like. (Although there isn’t too much to like about it.) Never mind the fact that my wisdom teeth have had me climbing through the roof for the past few months – they were especially painful, funnily enough, every time I had a glass of very cheap red wine! So when I saw the advertisement about the study of wisdom teeth removal in the paper, I temporarily lost my mind (I must have been in pain at that moment) and so I signed myself up to lose what little wisdom I have left. Last Saturday, I arrived meekly, like a lamb to slaughter, at the place where the surgery was to be performed. Here’s the gist of it: the purpose of the study is to see how (if at all) acupuncture works as treatment for pain following the extraction of wisdom teeth. Failure of acupuncture’s magic would certainly be a pleasant anticipation for masochists, but to me, that alternative seemed rather daunting. The day started off mundanely enough though: sitting with all the other "lab rats" in the waiting room and filling out an amount of paperwork so staggering that it makes the forms forced on citizens by most government agencies world wide look positively sparse. I think they thought it would be the best distraction to calm our nerves. They would have succeeded too, had it not been for all the waivers we had to sign. The latter looked something like this: "In the event of any complications due to this surgery, such as the loss of senses (which includes the ability to see, think, smell, taste, touch, feel, hear and speak.), extended unconsciousness or death, this dental practice, its employees, their families, offspring, pets and friends will not be held liable or face any frivolous lawsuits." Now THAT’s calming, isn’t it? Then the forms continued to explain that you should realise that your teeth would actually be pulled from your mouth during the study, which may result in bleeding, swelling, bruising or pain. And that acupuncture involves many needles temporarily being inserted into your body. No kidding! At that stage, I was at the point of no return and actually caught myself wishing that I could go first just so that I could get it over and done with. But off course I wasn’t first up. Not with my luck. I did feel a bit calmer when I didn’t hear any piercing screams of anguish coming from the general direction the test subjects had disappeared into. When, in a weak attempt at humour and idle chit-chat, I noted this to the nurse, she replied, quite seriously: "Of course you wouldn’t hear it. You didn’t REALLY think we’d be silly enough to let you sit within hearing distance from the surgery, now did you?" No, silly me. Finally it was my turn. I briefly experienced one of those "oh-no-this-is-not-happening-surreal-out-of-body-and-mind" moments but promptly returned to earth when I was unceremoniously plonked down into the dentist’s chair. Actually, the dental surgeon was a very pleasant, friendly foreigner (from South America, if memory serves me correctly.). His assistant, a dental student from Greece, was just as nice. Or so I thought, until they whipped out strange looking instruments and injections with the longest needles I had ever seen. Their smiles, so reassuring just a moment before, suddenly turned sinister and sadistic when they picked up their tools and chorused in unison: "Open WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDE!" It all happened before I had the time to beg them to at least render me unconscious for the occasion, or to – at the very least – give me some Valium. But my unlucky streak continued and I had to be alert and cruelly conscious to witness the entire event for the notes that I had to keep later as part of the study. I fooled them and pinched my eyes shut, so that was quite a waste on their account, ha! Seriously though, who EVER wrote that rule of life that states that dentists have to chat to you while they’re busy contorting your mouth, pulling your lips apart, and dislocating your jaw? Why is THAT always the time they pick to get to know you, by asking you a series of unrhetorical questions that can’t possibly be answered by merely nodding or shaking yes or no? Well, these guys were no different. They chatted and asked away, only interrupting the (very) one-sided conversation by making comments like "Open a little WIIIIIIIIIIIDER!" and "I’m just going to push a little … yes," followed by a sickeningly loud crack and a CRUNCH! And then by an enthusiastic: "Aah, yes! You’re doing GREAT!" Until the crunching stopped, and it was all over. "It’s OUT!" They shouted with great glee, again in unison – they must be a double act and do this quite often. But alas, that was only to be the first technicality of the day, because immediately after I had managed to get up from the dentist’s chair, and had regained my wobbly balance, I was whisked away to a second, more secluded secret location, again far from the waiting room, its anxious patrons and their ears. A petite, pretty Chinese woman awaited me. She was to execute the acupuncture and the first thing on HER to do list was to blindfold me. Needless to say, I got a little scared for the second time that day. "Doesh thish ushually happen?" I managed nervously, passed the gauze that had been stuffed at the back corner of my mouth, where, moments before, a wayward wisdom tooth had been steadily growing towards the side of my mouth. I’m sure if I didn’t have it pulled, it would have poked through my cheek eventually. "Oh, nooo!" She answered, laughing, after finally figuring out what I was trying to say. "You know," she said, pulling the blindfold tight with surprising strength for such a slight frame. "You really shouldn’t speak." "Where are you from in China?" I rebelliously ignored her. They had to realise that it would take more than oral surgery and stuffing some gauze in my mouth to shut ME up! I went on to discuss the author Amy Tan (the only Chinese author that sprang to mind and whose work I’ve actually read.) and then asked the crucial question: "Is this going to hurt?" "Oh, nooo!" She laughed again, a bit louder this time. (Was it my imagination or did I detect a sinister undertone in her laugh? I think not though, because I was blindfolded, and your senses are supposed to sharpen up a notch when you’re blind, right?) She went on to explain that the holistic therapy of acupuncture has been around for centuries. "What’s the death toll so far?" I asked. She pretended not to hear me and solemnly said: "The ancient Chinese were very, very wise." I sure hope they had imparted some of that wisdom on YOU, I wanted to say, but of course, I didn’t. (Confucius says: "You shouldn’t be too cheeky when someone who is armed with needles, blindfolds you.") So, helpless for the second time that day, I simply lay back hoping to start feeling very Zen-like. It really didn’t hurt at all (in fact, the whole purpose of the blindfold was so that we, the humble dental subjects, couldn’t know for sure if we had even received acupuncture.), but I’m sure I felt some tiny needle pricks. That lasted twenty minutes, and I was done, but not quite free yet. For the next five hours I was closely monitored by an army of nurses (don’t know if that’s the correct collective term for nurses, but "army" spontaneously sprang to mind.) whom, every fifteen minutes and with military precision, marched in to ask: "Do you have pain?" Whenever I said no they looked genuinely disappointed. Occupational hazard, I guess? Finally, they gave up on me (but not before I had been sent back for a second round of blindfolded pin-pricks.). I was released with a mountain of things to do until next Saturday, when I shall return to have the stitches removed (and who knows what other surprises they’ll whip up for the occasion.). In the mean time, I have all my study "homework" to complete, and a throbbing reminder of what it takes to be a medical experiment. All that, and still, no sign of the Tooth Fairy… © RSA-Overseas [ Top ] Suspend Zim from Commonwealth, says Leon Democratic Alliance leader Tony Leon has written to the Commonwealth, calling for Zimbabwe's "conditional suspension" from the organisation. Meanwhile, the African National Congress said it would again send a message to Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe's Zanu-PF party this week calling it to ensure a credible election in March. Leon called on the Commonwealth to suspend Zimbabwe "until such time as democracy, human rights and the rule of law are restored to the satisfaction of the committee of Commonwealth ministers on Zimbabwe". Speaking on the SABC's Newsmaker programme, Leon said Mugabe had a poor record of sticking to his word, and there was no reason to believe he would abide by a commitment given to regional leaders to ensure a free and fair election. "They (Zimbabwean government) break their word, they enter into agreements simply to buy time," said Leon. South Africa had to increase the pressure on its northern neighbour and could no longer rely on diplomacy to encourage that government to maintain the rule of law, he said. "Quiet diplomacy has been a total failure. The central issue is one man and one party trying to hang on to power after their sell-by date," he said. ANC spokesperson Smuts Ngonyama said the ANC would "do everything possible" to make sure there is a free and fair election in Zimbabwe. He said that, in keeping with the ANC's approach of "constructive engagement", the party would continue to interact with both Zanu-PF and the opposition Movement for Democratic Change to help ensure a credible poll on March 9 and 10. * Zimbabwean journalists were set to hand a petition to Information Minister Jonathan Moyo on Monday, after vowing at the weekend to defy Mugabe's attempts to crack down on press freedom. A total of 75 journalists were expected to deliver a third petition to Moyo pledging to defy a "Draconian media bill" to be considered by the Zimbabwean parliament this week, the Media Institute of South Africa. Thanks to IOL.co.za [ Top ] |
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